Poetry produced between 1999 - 2007. Exploring and coming to terms with the illness.
All About ME
I donít really care what you think you see I am fighting
Chronic Fatigue, known to you as ME.
My body at times functions reasonably well, but most of
the time itís a living hell.
Pains indescribable rack my body and brain, but to many
outsiders I look the same.
Masking the pain gives me something Iíve lost, my dignity
back, but at great personal cost.
To all outsiders I should be working, I am certain they think
I am constantly shirking.
In my previous life I was greatly respected, but in the eyes
of old colleagues I know I am rejected.
I used to work eighteen hours a day, and would conquer
severe challenges as if it were play.
My vision was sound, my intellect strong, always used for
advice, I was seldom wrong.
Today writing and speaking is often a task, the words are
there but are like a mask.
Veiled in a cloak of mystery and insecurity, they seldom
reflect the real inner me.
I no longer have time for doctors and medics, who say itís all
in the mind.
Forgetting conveniently the history behind, the virus with its
vicious attack, that left me lying flat out on my back.
Learning to walk again has set me face to face with
indescribable pain.
As do simple every day tasks, so itís not surprising some
days I drop my mask, of a smile, when I am feeling
particularly vile.
However, I am learning to live with the exhaustion and
pain, and have come to value the few friends who remain.
Sadly the phone rings less and less, but who cares as
my body slowly moves forward from this absurd mess.
The only things that keep me sane are good memories
past and my good name.
My familyís future is important to me Ė
Which is why I continue to challenge this illness called
ME.

Pebbles in the sand.
Untouched by human hand.
No sign of scale or whether male or female.
Washed up by the tide they have nothing to hide.
Save the agonies endured, by relentless pounding waves.
On their own insignificant like man.
But all together give a sense of I can.